Honouring Our Privilege

“There are parts of being old, that are wonderful, and there are parts that suck, and that has a lot to do with genetics, your social position, race, class, gender, sexuality, and all of the societal structures that create your challenges and opportunities.“

- LYN SLATER

This blog post feels vague and unfinished. There is much to say, but I can only wade so deep for now. I hope your comments will add to the discussion. I know your wisdom will deepen my understanding!

Privilege has been on my mind these past few weeks. You might think that is because I am travelling through countries where many people do not have privilege. That is part of it, but my musings began with a Reflections of Life video featuring Jeremy, who gave his thoughts on the question, what if you only had one year left to live? He talks about a time when he felt guilty about having things, which led him to not using them. And then he asked, if I don’t use what I have, am I really honouring my privilege? This question struck a chord. Do I honour my privilege? And what does that even mean?

I am well aware I have privilege. I am a healthy white woman living in Western society, financially comfortable, and well-educated. The cards are stacked in my favour. This was abundantly clear in our travels through Vietnam. One of our tour guides mentioned that he had an uncle living in London, Ontario. Will you visit him one day, I asked? He laughed and replied it would take a year’s salary to pay for the flight. Our Balinese taxi driver asked us why we were staying in Balian Beach. The quiet, we responded, we want to listen to birds and the ocean, not scooters and honking horns. He shared that was not a choice he had. He has to live in the city to work and support his family.

Privilege is not about how much money you have - although it helps! Privilege also does not buy happiness. Privilege is an advantage that opens the door to possibilities and choices.

This week, I have been thinking of another privilege I have. My youngest daughter is in Perth with her fiancé visiting his family. How excited his mother must be to spend time with them! She rarely sees them more than once a year. My oldest daughter is in Penang visiting her husband’s parents. They have not seen our shared granddaughter for twenty months. She was 8 months old the last time they saw her; she is now almost 2 1/2 years old. My heart aches at the thought of not being able to see my children or grandchild for that long! I have the privilege of living close to both my daughters. I see them regularly. I am also blessed to spend loads of time with my granddaughter.

So, how do we honour our privilege? Here is some wisdom I have garnered from others.

Recognize your privilege. We all have strengths and shortcomings, writes Gianpiero Petriglieri, in the Harvard Business Review. Some doors open wide, and, as we know as women, others get slammed in our faces. And now, as older women, there are privileges no longer extended to us. Petriglieri reminds us how important it is to accept and own whatever gifts we do have. Embrace your privilege and use it wisely.

Accept the price of privilege. P. L. Thomas notes that many of our accomplishments have their roots in huge advantages not of our making. He writes of the importance to address our accomplishments with humility.

Be a witness to privilege. Call out the arrogance of privilege. “Bear witness to the harm done by paternalism, whitesplaining, mansplaining, and the many micro-aggressions of privilege.” (P. L. Thomas)

“I have never seen myself as a spokesman. I am a witness. In the church in which I was raised, you were supposed to bear witness to the truth. Now, later on, you wonder what in the world the truth is, but you do know what a lie is. . . . A spokesman assumes that he is speaking for others. I never assumed that — I never assumed that I could.” - James Baldwin

Is ageism an oppression of privilege?

This is definitely a growing research topic in recent years! The Privilege Project notes that age is a double-edged sword when it comes to privilege and should be viewed as a factor with multiple facets of influence. With age comes wisdom, experience, stability and respect. However, it also brings a perception of resistance to change, and loss of physically and mentally ability.

What I found particularly interesting is how age privilege is influenced by cultural differences and upbringing. Cultures in which intergenerational living is part of family life are seen to have the most positive associations with ageing.

Have you thought about honouring your privilege? Have you put this into practice? Please consider sharing your thoughts below.