For the past year, my world has shrunk, dictated by my knee. I thought twice about errands, avoided outings that involved too much walking, and reluctantly gave up many things I enjoyed.
Last Wednesday, three weeks after my knee surgery, I eagerly headed off for a day trip with my husband to the Cowichan Valley. We dropped Bella off at the kennel for a day of dog play, drove past Ladysmith, and as soon as we could, turned off onto back roads, our favourite way to travel. That day we explored areas west of the highway, stopped at farm stands for fresh eggs and vegetables, popped into Kilrenny Farm for fresh pasta, enjoyed a pub lunch, and wrapped up the day with a 20-minute walk on a local trail.
This past weekend we visited with the kids and all three of our granddaughters. I strolled several blocks with my oldest granddaughter and walked around the house, bouncing my youngest granddaughter in my arms. I even carried the 18-month-old up the stairs for her nap; how I have been dreaming of doing just that for the last year!
What struck me was how quickly my thinking had changed. After a year of focusing on limitations, I have switched to thinking about what lies ahead. Places to explore, trails to walk, grandchildren to play with, gardens to dig in, and all those simple pleasures that make an ordinary day feel rather special.
It got me thinking about how we begin to define our lives by our limitations as we get older.
Yes, limitations come with ageing. Our bodies change, circumstances shift, and sometimes we have to let go of things we once enjoyed. Sometimes, though, our limitations are less tangible. They are the assumptions we make about what is appropriate, realistic or even possible at our age. We may decide we're too old to learn something new, take up a new interest, or travel somewhere unfamiliar. Gradually, without really noticing, we begin to narrow our own horizons.
Sometimes I feel as though I am turning the pages of a story that has already been written. Yet my experience over the past few weeks has reminded me that I am still very much a participant in writing that story. Life continues to unfold in unexpected ways. I find myself developing new relationships, changing directions and discovering interests I might never have considered before. There are still chapters to be written.
I don't know what the next year will bring. My knee will continue to recover, and I will hopefully grow stronger. I find myself looking forward to all the possibilities that lie ahead.
I think that is what I want to hold on to as I grow older. Not the expectation that I will always be able to do everything I once did, but the willingness to remain curious about what might still be possible.
I wonder what possibilities you might discover if you gave yourself permission to look beyond what you think you can no longer do?
We have lived a lot of life. We have accumulated experiences, wisdom, relationships and stories. But there is still so much to explore, learn, experience and enjoy. I, for one, am looking forward to finding out what comes next.
