50 reflections on growing older

When I reached 100 blog posts, I shared a list of 100 random things: quotes, life lessons, reasons I write, future blog posts percolating in my mind, and more bits and pieces. At 200 blog posts, I sent you another 100 random musings.

This week, I am celebrating 250 blog posts! I could offer you another list of random things, but this feels like the right time to go a bit deeper!

I have been reflecting on things that I am noticing these days. Some are similar to what I might have written five or fifteen years ago; many are new. Then I asked myself - why did this stay with me? I then added that layer as best I could, providing a bit more depth.

Here are 50 reflections about growing older. As I started writing, I found my reflections naturally gathered into themes that show up in many of my blog posts.

Nature and daily life

1. I enjoy early mornings now that I no longer work, when the day hasn’t yet asked anything of me, and I can hear my own thoughts.

2. I love the sound of rain on our metal roof - it makes me feel safe, sheltered from the outside world.

3. I love the quality of late afternoon light, reminding me that each day is a gift.

4. I love the roar of the ocean, a reminder of what a small part I play in this vast world.

5. I love silence in nature, when not even a single bird sings, and I take time to pause.

6. I am drawn to places where I can walk without purpose, enjoying the journey.

7. I love arriving at a new destination and feeling entirely at ease.

8. I return to certain landscapes because they feel like home.

9. I enjoy heading back to familiar hiking trails, appreciative of old growth forest and nursery stumps.

10. I marvel at the resilient rufous-sided hummingbirds returning from their long migration, nd think of the journey ahead.

Relationships

1. I enjoy spending time with women who tell their life stories without exaggeration or apology.

2. I love meaningful conversations in which something shifts but does not need to be named.

3. I like meandering from topic to topic.

4. I am drawn to women who have done their own inner work. These days, I want to go below the surface.

5. I feel relief when I am with someone who already knows my history and doesn’t need it explained again.

6. I also enjoy being with someone who is unaware of my history, and only sees me in the moment.

7. I love the quiet companionship of walking beside someone without the need to fill the space with words.

8. I am blessed to be the mother of daughters and omi to three granddaughters. We are all daughters of strong, resilient women.

9. I never knew I had an empty space in my heart until my granddaughters were born.

10. I still find comfort in my husband’s arms.

Writing

1. I write because it is the one place where I can tell my truth - even when I don’t quite unraveled that truth yet.

2. I treasure those moments in writing when something unexpected surfaces - something I recognize immediately as true.

3. I appreciate that there are stories I am still not ready to write - they are a reminder that I am not finished yet.

4. I love the moment when I am writing, and suddenly, the words are writing themselves.

5. I sometimes recognize myself in a story shared by one of the women in my life story writing workshops. There is comfort in knowing I am not alone.

Memories

1. I return to books I loved when I was younger to marvel at how I have changed.

2. I read old journals, and wish I could tell my younger self that everything will turn out all right one.

3. I linger over pieces of music that hold entire seasons of my life inside them - operas my mother listened to on the record player, Gregorian chants when I needed to comfort my soul, strong female voices that made me want to dance.

4. I visit certain places because they are soaked in memories.

5. I love the way memories arrive unexpectedly - words in a book, a familiar smell in a store, or hearing someone speak in my native language.

6. I return to memories to remember good times, and because my haling journey is not yet complete.

7. I sometimes wonder about relationships that ended without a clear reason, just a quiet drifting apart.

8. I remember mistakes I made in life with a compassion that I once did not think I deserved.

9. I worry that one day I may not remember, a reminder to capture my stories now, while I still can.

10. I savour every day moments that I hope will form new memories.

Growing older

1. I love the way time slows down when I am fully paying attention.

2. I can now differentiate between being busy and being fully engaged in my life.

3. I find myself questioning how I want to live the years I have left, and realize I don’t know yet - and that fills me with pleasant anticipation.

4. I love the moment I return home and feel the quiet settle around me again.

5. I am not bothered that becoming more myself may disappoint some people.

6. I no longer rush to resolve uncertainty as I once did.

7. I have learned that some questions do not need an answer.

8. I savour the kinds of days that I once would have considered boring.

9. I am drawn now to what feels routine and comfortable rather than briefly exciting.

10. I love the feeling of being absorbed in something that needs no outcome or solution.

11. I feel a quiet regret that I spent so many years being hard on myself.

12. I am finally talking with my body, not criticizing or lamenting, but listening and trying my best to take heed.

13. I am aware that my world is smaller now and richer.

14. I find comfort in the familiarity of my routines, while still enjoying unplanned days.

15. I love knowing that I am living the life I once hoped for.

If you feel drawn to try this yourself, I would love to know what you discover.

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