The wisdom in the margins
Thursday, I wrapped up my final workshop before the summer. Friday morning, I pulled a notebook down from my bookshelf, the one where I capture snippets from the life stories of the women in my life story writing classes. There are metaphors, phrases, and sentences that left me speechless, comments on writing styles, and notes on the stories that emerged from the themes and writing prompts I offer participants. But the workshops leave behind more than stories, and the notes I scribble in the margins, are as meaningful as the stories themselves.
I ground some beans for a fresh cup of coffee and despite the morning sunshine, I climbed back into bed with my notebook and laptop, and began reading. That morning, I was not focused on the stories but rather the marginalia, the words written in the margins and below the line drawn towards the bottom of each page. This is where I capture the wisdom beyond the stories - the books that changed someone's thinking, the questions that linger after our time together, and the unexpected insights that emerge when women gather to write.
This practice began in university, when professors like writer Hugh MacLennan and poet Louis Dudek would regale us with stories that were only loosely connected to the literature we were studying. Later I discovered these scribblings have a name: marginalia. Writers have always done this. Edgar Allan Poe once wrote: ‘In getting my books, I have been always solicitous of an ample margin … for the facility it affords me of pencilling suggested thoughts, agreements and differences of opinion.’
I review the marginalia from my workshops regularly and file items in their appropriate folders on my computer. Today, I thought I would share with you the names of the books mentioned in my workshops over the last few months. These books will also give you a sense of the conversations women have when they come together to write life stories. Several have already been added to my growing to-be-read pile, awaiting warm, summer days where you will find me curled up in an Adirondack on the deck, hummingbirds buzzing around my head.
AGING
Essays After Eight by Donald Hall
A frank collection of essays by former poet laureate, Donald Hall, from the vantage point of old age. Hall was married to poet Jane Kenyon.
Unbreakable: A Woman’s Guide to Aging with Power by Vonda Wright
Drawing on over 25 years of clinical research and thousands of patients, Dr Vonda Wright reveals why bone health is the very foundation of lasting strength, mobility, and independence — and gives every woman the tools to take control of her skeletal health for decades to come.
MEMOIR
Window Shopping for God: A Comedian’s Search for Meaning by Deborah Kimmett
Deborah Kimmett has worshipped numerous deities. After emerging from a rigidly Catholic childhood, she danced with witches, whirled with Sufis and explored the Power of Now like there was no tomorrow. Window Shopping for God is a memoir by your average people-pleasing, meaning-of-life-seeking, downward-facing-dog-posing stand-up comedian.
All Things Consoled: A Daughter’s Memoir by Elizabeth Hay
Canadian novelist Elizabeth Hay introduces us to the drama of her parents' end, and the longer drama of being their daughter, in this memoir. (FYI: Hay’s book, Snow Road Station, is one of my favourite novels.)
Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed
For more than a decade, thousands of people have sought advice from Dear Sugar, the pseudonym of bestselling author Cheryl Strayed. Tiny Beautiful Things collects the best of Dear Sugar in one volume, bringing her wisdom to many more readers.
Nanaville: Adventures in Grandparenting by Anna Quindlen
Before blogs even existed, Anna Quindlen became a go-to writer on the joys and challenges of family, motherhood, and modern life in her nationally syndicated column. Now she’s taking the next step and going full nana in the pages of this lively, beautiful, and moving book about being a grandmother.
A Year By the Sea: Thoughts of An Unfinished Woman by Joan Anderson
During the years Joan Anderson was a loving wife and supportive mother, she had slowly and unconsciously replaced her own dreams by putting her family first. This is a memoir of how one woman's journey of self-discovery gave her the courage to persevere in re-creating her life.
RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY
The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller
Psychotherapist Francis Weller introduces the 5 gates of grief, helping us come to terms with grief and loss within a culture so fundamentally detached from the needs of the soul.
The Queen’s Path: A Revolutionary Guide to Women’s Empowerment and Sovereignty by Stacey Simmons
In this book, psychotherapist Dr Stacey Simmons explores the tracks women are placed on that turn them against themselves at a young age. An exploration of the Divided Woman, the key to understanding why women cannot take a hero’s journey.
Almost Everything: Notes on Hope by Anne Lamott
Writer and activist Anne Lamott invites each of us to rediscover the nuggets of hope and wisdom buried within us that can make life sweeter than we ever imagined. Divided into short chapters that explore life's essential truths.
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
Finding the Mother Tree by Suzanne Simard
A world-leading expert, Simard shares her amazing discovery of the communication between trees and shares her own story of family and grief.
THE CRAFT OF WRITING
Writing the Memoir by Judith Barrington
Since its release in 1997, this book has been praised as "the best book on memoir out there." It is thought-provoking, explanatory, and practical: each chapter ends with writing exercises.
Writing, Creativity and Soul by Sue Monk Kidd
From the bestselling author of The Secret Life of Bees and The Book of Longings, this book, part memoir, part philosophical investigation, part advice to aspiring writers, Writing Creativity and Soul is a touchstone for the spirit, a work of profound pilgrimage that will be of value to aspiring writers and anyone who hungers to lead a deeper and more fulfilling life.
Have you read any of these books? Which ones stayed with you, challenged you, or changed the way you think? And what books would you recommend to women who are also rowing north? I'd love to hear your suggestions and I know many of the avid readers in the Ageless Possibilities community would too!
