Self-reflection through life stories
This past month, I have spent time with both of my alumni groups, discussing the theme Understanding Ourselves from Mary Pipher’s book, Women Rowing North. In this chapter, Mary Pipher introduces the importance of understanding ourselves as one of the first travel skills older women need for the journey. She suggests we take the time to recognize old patterns, reassess long-held stories, and let go of roles that no longer fit. She frames later life as a time to claim our authenticity and understand what truly matters. This self-awareness helps us to move forward with intention and a clearer sense of who we have become.
Like many of the women who take workshops with me, much of my introspection is done through writing. This week, I spent some time reading past blog posts about life story writing. I thought I would share some insights from those posts with you as I prepare for my year-end reflection, looking back and within.
Writing our life stories
When I was young, I kept a diary, then a journal, and in my twenties, I began writing my life stories, although I did not know to describe them as life stories back then. Over time, I came to understand that I could only make sense of my own life by writing out my experiences and feelings. Life stories can be left as a legacy but, they are also a powerful catalyst for learning about ourselves , past generations, and our shared female experience. Life stories can transform memories into meaning.
Our memories, after all, are more than events; they are a collection of stories we know but do not yet fully understand when we are young. With time and perspective, the stories we once rushed past begin to reveal layers of insight. Writing gives us the space to explore these layers - to understand them, instead of simply summarizing what happened.
Something else happens when we give shape to our experiences: we reclaim the narrative. We stop letting others define who we were or who we are becoming. One of my favourite quotes is, “So many people from your past know a version of you that doesn’t exist anymore.” Through my writing, I can erase outdated versions of myself.
“Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending – to rise strong, recognize our story and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, yes. This is what happened. This is my truth and I will choose how this story ends.”
The transformative power of stories
Sharing our stories can be as therapeutic as writing them. That is the power of the Guided Autobiography (GAB) approach. I have listened to over 150 women read their stories. The gift of hearing these stories can be as transformative as writing my own stories. Change the names and locations, and some could be my stories. At times, these stories reveal insights that I have not yet discovered. These stories also serve as a reminder of our shared female experience. They remind me that our lives are intricately woven together.
I’d love to hear how you pause, look back, and look within. How do you create space for reflection as you stand on the threshold of a new year?
